Laurie Frankel
  • Books
    • One Two Three
    • This Is How It Always Is
    • Goodbye For Now
    • The Atlas of Love
  • About
  • bits & pieces
  • Book Clubs
  • Contact
  • Paris 2023
  • Books
    • One Two Three
    • This Is How It Always Is
    • Goodbye For Now
    • The Atlas of Love
  • About
  • bits & pieces
  • Book Clubs
  • Contact
  • Paris 2023

This Is How It Always Is for book clubs

Giant Buddha statue with gold fingernails in the foreground
Buddha statue in Sukhothai, Thailand
Yellow bathroom sign picturing a figure of a human whose red right side has a skirt and long hair and whose blue left side has short hair and pants.
Bathroom sign in Thailand
Row of gold Buddha statues, all with one hand extended, face out.
Talk-To-The-Hand Buddhas dispelling fear.
Thank you for choosing This Is How It Always Is for your book club!

​With the caveat that there are spoilers, here's a link to discussion questions for after you've read the book.

​​It is sometimes possible for me to join your bookclub via zoom. If you're interested, give a yell and I'll be in touch.
​
Gender Resources
​
There are so many resources now for anyone who wants to learn more about gender identity in general and transgender issues in particular. Below are some resources for families with gender nonconforming children. Two notes:
1) These are just starting points. If they're not your bag, keep looking.
And 2) gender nonconforming is an excellent way to be.
Here's a piece I wrote for the New York Times' Modern Love column about my own journey with my own kid.
Here's a letter I wrote to early readers about why this story is so hard to tell and why I did it anyway.
​TransFamilies
Gender Diversity Group
Gender Spectrum
​
Trans Youth Equity Foundation
​Transgender Law Center Truth Program
​
TransYouth Family Allies
TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation
Some great books to start with for those (bless you) who prefer actual paper:
  • Gender Born, ​Gender Made, by Diane Ehrensaft
  • ​The Transgender Child, by Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper
​
​Thai Border Clinic
​To research this book, I traveled all over Thailand and visited the incredible, humbling 
Mae Tao Clinic on the Thai-Burmese border. They are doing truly awe-inspiring work there. It is much, much better run and organized than the fictional clinic I made up for this book, but it is just as wonderful a cause and in just as much need of support. A portion of proceeds from this book will be donated to the Mae Tao Clinic. If you are so moved, they would do wonderful work with your donation. You can see more pictures here.

    Very occasionally, when there's news or bookclub specials or travel or offers or invitations, I'd love to let you know. (All your info will be kept private and never shared, of course.)

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  • Books
    • One Two Three
    • This Is How It Always Is
    • Goodbye For Now
    • The Atlas of Love
  • About
  • bits & pieces
  • Book Clubs
  • Contact
  • Paris 2023